laurenellen

So it's Florida. Fine. So the beach beckons. Yeah yeah yeah. But you don't want to get sunburned, do you? Stung by a jellyfish?

So come to the Barnes & Noble in beautiful Plantation, FL and visit Emily, Sarah, and me! You heard it here first, folks! There will be talk of BADNESS on Saturday, May 10, 2PM, at:

Barnes & Noble
591 South University Dr.

Be there or be square! :)




(By the way, those are watermelons. Or watersquares? Ooo! Ooo! Squelons!!! At any rate, they seem to be VERY popular here in Florida. I tried one, but it didn't go down very well!)

Oh, and forgot to say:

Tomorrow night (Friday, May 9) we're at Books & Books Miami. The event is at 7 PM, and the store's addy is 265 Aragon Ave. Oh, and it's technically in Coral Gables, I guess.

Come! Come! Get your bad selves in your car/bike/vespa/sneaks and come!!!!

So we're on tour, yeah? For How to Be Bad? I think we may be jinxed, because here are the bad things that have happened so far:
--E's shoes were stolen (why?!!! why would someone steal another person's shoes????)
--I lost *all* data on my computer, including the novel I'm supposed to, er, finish
--there was vomiting
--there was crying
--WE GOT A SPEEDING TICKET FROM A COP NAMED FLOYD!!!!!!
--I was forced to eat yucky cottage cheese
--and worst of all, no one has read How to Be Bad and told me if they like it!!!!!! Boo!!!

All that, in only two days. Geez Louise.

But other than that, life is grand. :)

Make me feel better by sharing some of your own "bad day" woes, will ya? Oh, and check out the pics below. Not *everything* is going wrong...

xoxo,

me













P.S. If you made it this far in the entry, you should know that:
--we did not even consider boob-squashing police officer Floyd, unlike Mel, Jesse, and Vicks when they had their brush with the world's smallest police officer
--my brilliant husband talked me down through my tears and helped me recover my lost file
--AND, we are staying at the Peabody tonight, which is duck heaven, which is thus Lauren heaven. Because I love you, I made the following display of Peabody delights found in my room:




And here's Mr. Peabody Duck himself:



And FINALLY, here's the duck I see on the waterfront outside my window. I requested a room with a view...and boy, did I get one!

Dudes! Dudettes! Foxy foxes of all shapes and sizes! I AM SO WEARY AND SLEEP-DEPRIVED, but I must shout out in glory: HOW TO BE BAD IS OFFICIALLY IN STORES!!!!!!

Sarah, E., and I just had our very first event in Hotlanta, and it was awesome, and so many coolio peeps came, and it made us all smile and smile. And now...eeek!!!! I just can't wait for our darling readers to actually READ the book and tell us what they think! And who would those darling readers be? Yes! Ding ding ding we have a winner! Those darling readers would be YOU!!!!!!

Ooo. Manic-ness leads to coming down hard. Must go to bed. Off to FLORIDA tomorrow with Sarah and E. as we continue La Tour!

Hugs, kisses, and mangoes,

super-excited me (who, yes, Li'l Dub, thinks Michael S. is way hot. Or was. Don't know if he still is or not. He's not as hot as Marco or Penn from How to Be Bad, though...)

Okay, li'l peeps. Y'all have been asking--both on the blog and through email--what How to Be Bad is about, so I'm going to paste in this SO FRICKIN' COOL review/synopsis by an amazing book chick person in New York city. You know, where everyone wears black and is uber-cool. Unlike the peeps in Colorado where I live, who wear very large belt buckles with pictures of steer on them.

Here's what Reading Rants has to say (and I'll paste the link at the bottom in case you want to go see her whole site, which rocks):

This. Is. One. Badass. Book. Seriously...three awesome chick lit. authors banded together to write this hilarious Florida roadtrip story via email, each adopting a different alter-teen-ego: “Christianpants” Jesse, tough-girl Vicks (who is described as having b & w hair, and I imagined her looking like voted-off-too-soon A.I. Season 7 Amanda Overmeyer), and shy, upper-class Mel. I won’t be the one to spoil the surprise of who wrote what, but friends, it was ALL good. Vicks’ s boyfriend Brady has gone off to college in Miami, which would be fine except he hasn’t texted or called in two weeks and Vicks is worried. So worried that she can’t even share her fears with her best friend, Jesse. Jesse, whose fine-looking Mama can still compete in wet t-shirt contests, has just learned that same sassy Mama has been diagnosed with breast cancer and is so worried about her mother’s possible demise and loss of her eternal soul (according to Jesse, wet t-shirt contestants go straight to Hell, without passing go or collecting $200 dollars) that she doesn’t tell Vicks. Instead, Jesse suggests a road trip to see Brady as a distraction for them both. Third wheel Mel invites herself along because wants a taste of the BF love that Vicks and Jesse share (and also, she’s the only one with an AmEx who could spring for the hotel). After three stinky days in a broken down Opel, an unsupervised house party, two ‘gator “attacks” (one stuffed, one real), a melt-down in a pirate themed-hotel room, and a glorious all-expenses-paid trip to EPCOT, they’re not just friends—they’re badasses (or “badbottoms” as Jesse would say) to be reckoned with. Not since Thelma and Louise has it felt so good to be this bad. Ready to be tossed in your backseat next time you hit the open road with your best buds after May 2008!

Here's the link, eh?
http://www.readingrants.org/2008/04/10/how-to-be-bad-by-e-lockhart-sarah-mylnowski-lauren-myracle/

We Heart Reading Rants!!!!

Which means three days until I go on tour. Eeeek! What I have done to prepare:
--used Crest Whitestrips to brighten my teeth
--uh, tried some "natural glow" Jergens lotion to create a natural glow (verdict still out on that one)
--got my hair cut

What I haven't done:
--finished the novel I'm supposed to finish
--gotten a mani/pedi (my nails look like death)
--packed or thought about packing
--finished the novel I'm supposed to finish

What Y'ALL can do to help:
--tell everyone you know that this awesome book called How to Be Bad is about to come out!!!!
--say nice things on my bloggie to lessen my anxiety (I always get worried when a new book comes out) :)
--go to Amazon.com and barnes&noble.com and post comments like, "Wow, this book looks so good and juicy. Three dear friends? Road trip? HOT BOYS? I'm all over it, baby."
--come paint my nails
--FINISH MY NOVEL FOR ME!!!!!

Okay, great, glad we got that all worked out. Tootles!

Sweeties. Another cultural literacy question, or rather, another "Just how big of an oldhead AM I" question.

Who's familiar with the old TV show "The Jeffersons"?

Again, has to do with whether I can refer to in a novel, or whether everyone will be like, "Huh?????"

Thanks! I love knowing I can come to y'all with this stuff!!!!!

Dudes. Check this out, sent to me by two darling goofs. They're like real, live "I, Carly"s!!!! And there very first segment mentions me! I'm so honored!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCDQIV83WEU

You guys! Or rather, girls!!!! Thank you SOOOOO much. You helped me more than you know. And yes, was inquiring for a book--not 14, but Peace, Love, and Baby Ducks, which comes out next spring. Yahoo! Boobage is an issue, as in the book, the 14-yr-old sis has bigger boobs (all of a sudden) than the 15-yr-old sis, and it causes...lots of things, many of them messy.

Here's a new one for ya, if you're willing to share. What do y'all think a dad-person would say /not say about his little girl's "new" figure? I'm not talking about in any kind of gross way AT ALL. Just that, well, I remember when it became awkward to be as huggy with my dad as it was when I was a truly little kid, and I remember being sad about that. I myself am quite un-boob-ful, however. I just wonder if anyone's had the experience of a dad commenting in some way about a daughter going from "little kid" to "young woman." Again, for research purposes, and again, only if you want to share!

Seriously, y'all are the best. Thank you!!!!

Meaning, anyone under the age of eighteen. :)

Say a girl is a freshman in high school, and she has to dress out for P.E., and she's got big boobs (new for her) and suddenly fills out her P.E. shirt in a whole new Hooter-esque way.

My questions:

1) Does everyone on the planet know the restaurant Hooters? Can I refer to it and assume readers will get the reference?

2) What might the other girls in the class say about newly blossomed girl's figure? Right now, they comment on how she's "stacked," but I'm feeling like that might be an old-head expression...

Merci, my darlings!

Dudes! Dudettes! Little muffin sweeties! Remember how in ttfn, Glendy becomes a MySpace troll and tries to gobble up thousands of friends? Well, I am officially channeling Glendy +puts fingers to temples and looks constipated+ in order to tell you to go FRIEND Emily, Sarah, and me on MySpace! We have a special How to Be Bad profile pagie thing, and here's the link: http://www.myspace.com/how_to_be_bad

It's VERY cool, if I do say so myself. Music, pics, a video, alligators. What more could a MySpace buddy want?

And as of now, we have only TWO FRIENDS: the ubiquitous founder guy, Tom, and our publisher, HarperCollins. Which is kind of like having your parents friend you, but whatever. ;)

Go go go! Friend us! Please!!!!

Check it out--an interview just got posted that E., Sarah, and I all gave together about How to Be Bad, which comes out in about a month!!!! (I'll link to it at the bottom of the entry.) AND, I just got my first "real" copy of the book itself, and it is gorgeosity.

Here, take a look:




And here's the back:



And look! Actual words inside the book! (I love actual words inside a book!)



And for those of y'all who helped us pick our author photo, here's a peek at the jacket flap, where the author photo appears:





Ahhhh. Happy happy joy joy. And finally, here's the link to THE INTERVIEW, which is funny (I think) and which tells a whole lot about the book itself and how the three of us went about writing it without killing each other. Enjoy!

http://keris.typepad.com/chicklet/2008/04/sarah-lauren-an.html

Two of my favorite cuties have sent pics for me to post. Yay! (You see, I have no camera of my own, and thus I have come to rely upon the kindness of strangers for my digital entertainment. Who else in the world of literature relies upon the kindness of strangers, eh? Five purple stars to anyone who knows!)

Anywaysies, here is the adorable Quinn, daughter of Julia DeVillers, whose books y'all need to read, remember? Is she not the cutest girl ever? (Well, tied with Syndney, who you'll see in a moment...)



And here is Quinn's mama's book!!!!!! Did I mention that y'all should go read it? Because it's so fabulous???


And here is Syndney of the Cookies, who I will now dub Cookney. Or Sydkie? Oh, fine. Sydney, who makes yum yum cookies.




I love meeting these awesome girls who have such FINE taste in books!!! :)

Or: The Last Day (almost) of Tour and I Am Lonely

Whatever the title, I proudly present this lovely series of photos, taken by yours truly with my new pal, the hotel-sized bottle of all sensitive moisturizing lotion (a gentle but effective lotion).

Ahem.

It floats!


It clings!


It dangles!


It is my friend. :)


Nighty-night, now.

me & loeshie

Kay-Kay, bitsy darlings, time for some catch up, because Thursday and Friday were go-go-go days and I had no time to post! Which is good, I guess, but ooo, baby. How lovely to have tonight to CHILL OUT. (Thank you, lovely publicist Jason!)

On Thursday, it was snowing and cold in Michigan, and I did a library event in this GRAND old-school library. It was the perfect thing for a snowy day. There were a few scowling grown-ups who didn't seem to like that I mentioned Amanda drinking a wine cooler, but many more happy reader girls who didn't give a flip. AND I met this amazingly studly girl named Gabby who will one day rule the world, because that's how smart and capable she is. She was interviewing me for a newspaper, and she was so on the ball. Here she is, below:


(Oh, and she put the pic in a frame, isn't that so cute? Not for me, but for her. But she sent me a picture of it...in the frame...)

There were mucho other cool girls, too, including one special girl named Katie who just smiled and smiled and made my heart grow to three times its normal size. Oh, and there was this guy named Gavin who wasn't there to hear me talk, but to research England, and he had the incredible ability of being able to tell everyone what day of the week they were born on. Like, I said, "I was born on May, 15, 1969," and he said, "You were born on a Thursday." Which I was! He's just got that special kind of brain. He never got it wrong, not once. At the end of the reading, he asked who I was, who Gabby was, and who this one other woman was, and then he said to me, "Will you take my picture with them?" And I said, "With who?" And he said, "Gabby and Jodi." "Sure," I said, wondering if maybe he was confused and didn't realize that I was the author or something. I wasn't being big-headed (at least not on purpose), but lots of times people want their picture taken with me after a reading, and I'm always happy to oblige. Gabby must have wondered why Gavin wanted a picture of her and that other woman, too, so she asked, and he said to all of us, "Because Gabby and Jody are so pretty." Which they were indeed! But which cracked me up, as it was one of those lovely (and often needed, especially on tour) ego-deflating moments of, "You're an author? Yeah, so what. I want a picture of the pretty people!"

After leaving the library, I went to a coolio B&N in Ohio and met two incredible booksellers: Jennifer and Beth. They took me over to this cute little nook, and I talked to a small gathering of girls, while outside snow fluttered down. One of the girls wore lots of eyeliner and was a poet. She reminded me of Amanda, kinda.

Then, drove snowy snowy snowy slowly slowly slowy to Marion, Ohio--and crawled right into bed and went to sleep. ZZZZZZ. The next morning, I went to New Albany Middle School and talked to kids who were about to go on spring break. They all wore Hawaiian shirts and leis! And flip-flops, even though it was snowy there, too. Again, super cool librarian and bookseller (both named Karen!), but the highlight for me was meeting JULIA DEVILLERS! She wrote How My Personal, Private Journal Became a Best Seller, among other things, and she was sooooooooo sweet! (If you haven't read her books, get to it! They're fab.) She and her daughter Quinn came to see me, and then they took be out afterward and we had eggs and bacon and went shopping. Quinn and I bought matching PJs from Anthropologie. They are super soft. Me love.

And then--pant pant--did a signing at Books & Co, which was kinda funny because it was in a very public part of the store and there were people talking about all sorts of stuff all around. The bookseller told me that she's always having to kick teenagers out of the store. She was quite proud of herself--and rightly so. The teenagers were being jerks, going to the "sexuality" section of the store and making all sorts of stupid remarks. So this teeny, young, adorable bookseller would march over and say "It's time for you to leave. NOW." I was like, "Don't you get scared? Don't you get intimidated?" And she said, "No way. They're not here because it's a bookstore; they're here because their parents dumped them at the mall and they have nowhere to go." Which was kind of sad, but I sure liked her ballsiness. I *still* get intimidated of gangs of teenagers. Isn't that silly? Or maybe I don't. I don't know. I used to...

Then, this morning, I went to the coolest bookstore EVER. It's called Blue Marble, and I swear, it's like stepping into an actual children's book. It's full of nooks and crannies, and the owners are like little book gnomes, shushing around and loving books. And loving each other, too. They're both, I don't know, in their sixties or so? And so in love. Everyone at the store was warm and sweet and knowledgeable--and they fed me! And gave me cake! And it was awesome. Here's a pic of me sharing the bunny's bed from Good Night, Moon. Sigh. Happy memories...


After that, it was off to Joseph-Beth bookstore, and here's a word of warning: don't marry someone and then name a bookstore after both of your married selves unless you're like the owners of Blue Marble and plan to be together forever. I asked about why Joseph-Beth is called that, and I was told that those are the middle names of the married couple who founded the store...and who are now divorced. Ouch! But, hey, things happen--and I guess it's to their credit that they didn't change the name to Joseph-That-B**** or That-Bastard-Beth. Though that would have been kind of funny...

But forgive me for digressing, because once again, I met AWESOME book people--Barb and Stephanie--and awesome book lovers, who started off shy and then grew less so. And they were there on the last day (almost) of their spring break! Now that's living, I tell ya. Or dedication. Or book-loving-ness--yeah!

Now I'm back at my hotel, and tomorrow I'll fly to St. Louis. But tonight...ahhhh! Room service and a hot soak in the tub, with a good book. Speaking of...

--one girl told me yesterday that her cat peed on her copy of ttyl and it swelled up to three times its size, just like when you drop a book in the tub
--AND my dear friend E. Lockhart just had a FABULOUS book come out called THE DISREPUTABLE HISTORY OF FRANKIE LANDAU-BANKS! And y'all should all go read it, because it is witty and clever and so so so so so SO girl-power. And don't drop it in the tub!!!!!

xoxo,

me

Hola, sweeties,

It is COLD in Michigan, but people's hearts are warm. Well, I think so, anyway. My car driver claims that midwesterners aren't friendly, but--ahem--maybe he's not talking to the right ones? In the right way?

Ms. Coolio Nicola from Nicola's books was extremely friendly and has an adorable British accent that made me just want to smile and tilt my head and listen to her talk. She took me to visit a SWEET school called Emerson (they gave me a hat!), and then I did a book talk-y thing at her store later that evening. And my aunt and cousins came!!!! It was so good to see them. My one cousin, Holly, says she could cut someone's leg off if she had to. Uh-huh. Guess what her profession is and win...my undying admiration!

Here's a pic of moi and the lovely Monique, from Forsythe Middle School. Monique came to the reading at Nicola's to buy books for her school kids. Isn't that cool?





And here's the hat the Emerson kids gave me:


P.S. I look stupid in hats. Some people look super cute in hats, and I envy them. I look super stupid. ;)

Little sweeties! I have been won over by Michigan! Okay, I was never anti-Michigan, but I didn't know much ABOUT Michigan. But now I love it! As my car driver said: "Oh, yah, plenty of good clean livin'." (Imagine that said in a Garrison Keillor voice, please. Even though he's from Minnesota. No need to be picky, now is there?)

Met AWESOME girls at Haslett High School, and also one of the coolest librarians ever. Margie was so pro-books and pro-kids. She called her library a "live" library, and by that, meant that she encouraged students to eat there, read there, listen to music there...all the good stuff people want to do, but sometimes can't in libraries. She was the antithesis of the mean library lady. (Also, her colleague, Betty, brought cookies. Y'all know how I dig cookies. She brought these yummy cookies she calls "No Bakes," but which I call "Indian Boil." Have any of y'all heard of either???)

Then had a coolio event at Schuler Books, which was filmed for the nightly news on CBS. Hahahahahaha! Craziness. And Maddi brought me candy and eggs. Plastic eggs, no doubt left over from Easter. I like-y leftover Easter eggs, oh yes I do. And the candy bar had blueberries in it. As Big Bunny would say, "Mmmmmmm."

Here are the eggs (thank you, Maddi!):




Oh oh oh! And two girls showed up with polka-dotted nails!!!! What good taste they have, says I. ;)

Nighty-night!

moi

Oh my gosh!!!!! Okay, check it out. I'm on tour again, and my first stop was Grand Rapids, MI. (Go, Grand Rapids!) I had a reading at a super-duper bookstore called Schuler Books, and afterward, this adorable girl came up AND GAVE ME COOKIES!!!! Thirteen of them to be exact, to celebrate the publication of THIRTEEN!

Let me just say: I have asked for cookies many a time, but this was my first cookie-ing ever. I was (and am) so touched. I shared the love and gave cookies to my driver and to the hotel dudes who had to stand in the cold and open the door for people. (Three dudes. One door. Very heavy door, perhaps???) I also ate waaaaay too many myself, and look forward to polishing off the remaining ones tomorrow. For breakfast. They are delish!!!!!

Anyway, altogether now: THANK YOU, SYDNEY!!!!

(And hello to all the other sweeties I met in Grand Rapids, too! Y'all sure made it a fun event!!!)







P.S. Hrm, maybe this is an argument for writing a FOURTEEN? And so on and so on until we get to NINETY-NINE: Winnie, the Golden Years? (Think anyone would bring me 99 cookies???)

P.P.S. This just in, from another Grand Rapids lovely named Stacia. Hi, Stacia!!!!

Okay, you asked for it, you got it! (Erm, yes, only *one* of you asked...but I aim to please!) Here are pics from my Arizona visit. I am late in posting them because I am slow. I am a turtle, actually. The amazing writing turtle.

Can I just say again how much I loved Arizone? I loved Arizona!!!

Here I am with my fabulous escort, Pierre, who's a writer himself:



here I am with ze cacti:



adorable girl at B&N signing:



me with yet more adorable girls, this time at the amazingly cool Changing Hands bookstore:




me with coolio Changing Hands bookseller Jamie:




That hotel I told y'all about with the butt lamps (photo and t.p. courtesy of Pierre):




My bed at that crazy hotel (yes! outside! your eyes don't deceive!):




And finally--whew--random hotel concierge-type guy who looks an awfully like ________ (guess who!):



And there ya have it! All you wanted to know and more about MY STAY IN SUNNY ARIZONA!!!!

Just got a message from an awesome librarian, Jennifer from Spring Valley Library in San Bernardino, about my visit there. The kids I talked to there...well, some of them had never stepped foot in the library before. And I was like, "Sweetie-dudes! Books will change your world!" During my presentations, the kids were mainly blank-faced and too-cool-for-school, the way kids sometimes are (you silly kids!), and I left wondering what, if anything, had been accomplished. But Jennifer just emailed me to let me know that several of the girls have stopped by since to get library cards!!!!!!! That makes me so happy!!!!!!!!!

Also! Backtrack to an earlier day, when I went to the very groovy Goddard School. Just got pics from that event (I have no camera of my own except computer cam, and must rely on the kindness of strangers).

Here's the crowd I talked to:




Here's me talking to said crowd:




Here I am afterward, signing books:




And finally, my fave, a pic of me with the AMAZING editor of the middle school newspaper! She is going far, I tell you!




Toodley-doo!

me

P.S. Like my shirt? Got it in California, baby! :)